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Trancendental Dreamer

Every so often you have an experience that changes the way you think, or, in the very least, causes you to stop and look at your life from a different perspective. These experiences go by a lot of names and are attributed to many different sources, yet they all represent the same understanding: by looking to experience something outside ourselves we are able to find answers, find clarity and come back ready for whatever we have to face.

These experiences I often have at night (when I have or induce them), I feel a special connection to the stillness of the night. I’ve always been that way, as far as I can remember I’ve stayed up until three AM or later, and often not slept at all. Most of the time I was reading, sometimes drawing and thinking; I think I may have even attempted to create a language and Tolkien-sized fantasy world at one point. I’d have these ideas and desires to learn but it wasn’t until it got dark and everything grew still that I was able to make these things real. What is it that makes nighttime so special?

I’ve had many beautiful moments of calm at night, just tonight I was wandering the streets on my longboard and I felt something just fill me up. I felt like I was part of everything around me: the cool breeze around me, the hiss of the sprinklers, the yellow halogen lights overhead, the rumble of my board on the street; it must have been how quiet everything was. I just felt good and everything was beautiful, there were no problems, no past or future just that moment of ecstatic peace.

Why is it that we seek transcendence? Are we not enough for our own wonder? Why do we need to be part of some thing bigger than ourselves?